


Not Always a Captain's Smile

by Esmefoy



Series: You aren't Alone [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:57:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3514502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esmefoy/pseuds/Esmefoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An insight of Kathryn's feelings after receiving Mark's dear john letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Always a Captain's Smile

Kathryn had managed to make it to her quarters before she began to fall apart. As soon as the door shut behind her her emotions snapped like a rubber band that had been stretched to thin for too long. She hurled the padd with Mark’s latest letter on it across the room, flinching as it made contact with a frame hanging on the wall and both items clattered to the ground. She slid into the nearest dining room chair and reached for the half empty coffee cup that she had left behind hastily this morning due to her excitement of Voyager finally making contact with Starfleet Command. _She didn't honestly expect Mark to wait for her forever, did she? Of course he was eventually going to move on with his life_. She took a sip from the coffee in her hands and instantly spit it back into the cup, it was cold and stale, though she wasn't really sure what she was expecting. She sighed and set the cup back down, resting her arms on the table and burying her face into them.

  
“Kathryn...Kathryn?” Chakotay asked, reaching forward to rest his hand gently on her shoulder. She awoke with a start, knocking over the coffee mug by her arm. She watched the dark brown liquid seep across the table as she suddenly realized she had been asleep, dreaming of a reality far away from her quarters, or Voyager in general. _She was dreaming about home, about her mother and Phoebe, about Mark...and Justin_. She quickly buried her head back into her arms, trying her best to shut out the reality around her and continue her dream. “Go away” She mumbled in a very child like manner. Chakotay was surprised by her words but didn't falter as he cleaned up the coffee and set the dirty mug back in the replicator. “Kathryn, have you been asleep in this chair since you've left the party?” He asked, even though he was sure he already knew the answer. She sat up to meet his stare with a colder one, but failed miserably.

  
“I’m fine, just sleep deprived, as usual.” She tried her best to reassure him, but he didn't look convinced in the slightest. She grumbled and stood up, "Chakotay, I do not need you to mother me, I am perfectly capable of handling my personal issues on my own!" She spat at him. He sat in silence for a moment and stared at her hand, which was gripping the back of the chair she had once occupied so tightly her knuckles were turning white. "Kathryn, just because you think you can handle it by yourself does not mean you have to." He shook off her cold words and decided it best not to mention that the only reason he was up here is because Sam Wildman had retrieved him after hearing Kathryn's distress from the corridor. He pushed the chair back and stood up. "I am here first and foremost as your friend, but if you do not want me here, I will respect that." He said, turning for the door.

  
As he made a move for the exit Kathryn's stomach flipped, her mind becoming paranoid with so many thoughts that it felt like she had smashed her head into a concrete wall. He couldn't leave her alone, she didn't trust herself to be left alone. "Don't go." She managed to choke out even though her throat was fiery and her mouth had become as dry as cotton. He turned back to face her but she quickly turned away as a tear rolled down her cheek. She gripped the chair harder, she could not have a meltdown, not now, _not in front of her first officer_. He saw the tear roll down her cheek as she turned her head but didn't say a word. Instead he moved back towards Kathryn and gently touched her elbow. "Let's sit down." He said barely above a whisper, guiding her gently toward the couch.

  
He sat down on his designated end of the couch, but to his surprise, Kathryn sunk down right next to him. It was clear to him that she was struggling to harbor more tears and so he gently wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She felt him pull her closer and she rested her head on his chest, staring out into her dark quarters "This should not be happening" She remarked softly. He didn't respond but she did feel his arms tighten around her waist as sleep began to attack her body.


End file.
